Having a baby IS a miracle and DOES make you a Goddess

Dear Naomi Schaefer Riley,

Like many others, I read your NY POST piece titled “Having a Baby isn’t a miracle and doesn’t make you a Goddess.”

I’m going to be nice and not fill this post with all the curse words I used while I read your little op-ed piece for the NY Post. Also, you’ve probably heard or read all the names and insults everyone has been thinking on Twitter. I don’t even have to go on Twitter to know that the BeyHive came all the way for you. Or maybe you haven’t. I looked you up on Twitter and surprisingly, the last tweet from you was on February 17th, the day before you decided to hit publish on t his hot mess of an article. Seems like you’re the type of person to throw a rock then run away.

After reading what you wrote, I came away with a few questions, the main one being ‘Who raised you?’ and then ‘Who hurt you?’ And finally, ‘Do you have any friends?’

It’s painfully obvious that you don’t understand or respect motherhood. Do you not recognize your own mother as a Goddess? Why not? My mother worked Goddess-like miracles in our home every single day. Have you ever raised a child? Have you ever tried to get a toddler to eat anything else besides chicken nuggets? Ever gave the best life advice to a teenager and experienced that moment when he or she actually took said advice? Those are miracles, baby girl, and that’s what mothers do. Make the impossible possible.

But maybe you aren’t a mother. Maybe you don’t have friends who are mothers and hit you with the warning “Girl, don’t write that.” I mean, we all have friends who allow us to make bad decisions from time to time. Maybe they are tired of stopping you from going down the self-destructive path and have washed their hands of you. After all, you did write another opinion piece about Jay-Z and Beyonce’s marriage and, obviously, you are not the kind of person who learns from past mistakes.

What bothers me the most isn’t your opinion because you know the saying…opinions are like assholes…everybody has one. What bothers me the most isn’t your sarcastic and condescending description of Beyoncé’s performance, Adele’s speech, or your response to Kerry Washington’s declaration that her body was the site of a miracle now that she was pregnant.

What bothers me is your lack of empathy and coldness towards mothers to whom having a child is truly a miracle. Regardless if you have ten kids or none, as a woman, you should recognize that millions of women struggle with infertility. To them…us…having a child is a miraculous event, especially when you’ve been told that you may never be a mother. Your blatant disregard for these women, celebrities included, is shameful.
Your lack of compassion towards mothers like Adele who do struggle with motherhood in the beginning is problematic. They have a name for it and you even used it…postpartum depression.

I will not apologize for calling you bitter and jealous, because only bitter and jealous women write condescending op-ed pieces for public consumption bitching and moaning about how celebrities shouldn’t fetishize pregnancy or believe that their pregnancy is sexy and a miracle. If you do not believe that having a child is a miracle, you clearly need to read up on what constitutes a miracle.

You didn’t do anyone any favors by displaying your bitter opinion to the world. Didn’t anyone ever teach you that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all? Maybe this time you’ll learn that some opinions are better left unsaid or said in the privacy of your own home. Better yet, I hear journaling helps.

In fact, after my 2nd miscarriage, my therapist suggested keeping a journal. Writing about my feelings towards the people around me who were having no problems conceiving and carrying their children and the women who celebrated their pregnancies while I mourned my lost ones definitely helped.

Put your bitterness and jealousy and callousness in a private journal. Then one day, open said journal and reflect on why you are the way you are. But don’t do what you just did. I’m not your friend, but I’m here to tell you, “Girl, don’t write anything like this ever again.”

Naomi, let me make it out of the 1st trimester with this pregnancy still intact. You can bet your bitter ass I’m going to pull a Beyoncé and celebrate my pregnancy every single day in the most extravagant ways. For some people, having a baby is a miracle, and the fact that you sat at your desk for a week contemplating the most insensitive way to word your op-ed piece says more about you as a woman than it does as a journalist.

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